i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
