are you so shy because you have an std?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
