So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize