the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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