We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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