Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
