Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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