hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
