You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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