so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My vagina just clenched in fear
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
