I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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