is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
