You really coming over, don't trick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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