I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
