i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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