I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
