google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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