i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
