I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
