Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
