grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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