I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
