I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
