Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
