She just used a chaser for red wine.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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