is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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