college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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