i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
