My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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