I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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