wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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