He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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