I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize