I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
