Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
