it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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