I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's no shave November. This is our time.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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