Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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