honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There's always time for handjobs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
