ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize