We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
