so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Four minutes until I can fart!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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