i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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