yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
