Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
