Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Its not alright that i make out with a manican.

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(806): View more from Texas

Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

Fav 9 2452 1284
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.

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(217): View more from Illinois

4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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(404): View more from Georgia

You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.

(256): View more from Alabama

It's like 10 times better than an Oscar

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.

(208): View more from Idaho

I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.

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(406): View more from Montana

Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.

Fav 0 67 7
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