Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
