i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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