I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize