I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
