I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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