none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
