just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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