you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
