I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
