My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
