I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
