Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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