i think my mom watched the whole time
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
All I want is dick and wine.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
