Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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