so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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