I wish my penis had an off switch
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
