Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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