When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
