i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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