did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
