Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
