can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize