my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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