i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
