Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
