we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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