My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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