after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
