So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize