His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
